Wisdom Teeth and Massive Needles for Elephants

It seems to me, whenever I write on this blog, I'm either in vast amounts of pain, or I'm regaling you with an embarrassing, if funny, story.

Today...I'm in pain. I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday...yep, I now look like a chipmunk with its mouth full of nuts and berries. It is not a very comfortable feeling.

Getting your wisdom teeth out hurts like.....heck. NO, I was not going to swear, although I feel an awful lot like it. If you had somebody stick five needles in your mouth, slice a hole in your gums, break your tooth, and drag it out, piece by piece, you would feel like swearing!

Something also went wrong during the surgery, and now I have stitches in my cheek and two of my wisdom teeth were not taken out. I THINK it was because my mouth was too small. As my delightful dentist said with chagrin, "Don't ever let anybody tell you you have a big mouth...because you don't." Anybody who thinks I have a big mouth can go stuff it, so there. He said (My dentist that is) that we would have to wait to get my top two wisdom teeth out until they erupt. Which made me think of Mount Etna. I sincerely hope we are not waiting until my wisdom teeth spew lava all over the inside of my mouth.

Another horrifying aspect of this tale: I was actually awake during the whole thing...I heard EVERYTHING. Every grisly crunch and sickening scrape was mine to cherish. I also felt a great deal. Although I had a massive amount of freezing done, I could feel the pressure as they drilled into your bone. I am expecting horrifying nightmares.

Did I also tell you that needles terrify me? When my dentist pulled out this massive needle, I felt my heart stop. Surely they only used those on elephants? I looked frantically around the room. No elephants. I cringed inside. Looked like I was in for it.

To be strictly truthful, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. They gave me some freezing gel, so it could have been a lot worse. I could feel the needle go in. I could feel the pressure. But I wasn't writhing on the floor in gargantuan amounts of pain. Be that as it may, needles in the roof of your mouth are VERY painful. I don't really recommend them.

Right now, I am kinda high. For the past 24 hours I've either been filled to the brim with freezing drugs stuff, or filled to the brim with pain killers. I'm not operating or driving heavy machinery any time soon. But hey, at least I can't feel much. Oh the beauty of our modern drugs...they make you act like an idiot, but at least your not in pain.

P.S.-Can you tell that the painkillers started kicking in about halfway through this blog post? Disregard any strange turn of phrase....and if I send you an email today, disregard that too. I'm really not myself. :D




Wisdom Teeth (Not mine)

Pain, Orthodontics, and Ditzy Women

I am in pain. Seriously, I'm not joking. It feels like someone is pulling my teeth out half a millimeter at a time, with a pair of pliers. Like I said, Ow.

To understand my pain (and why I'm feeling it) I should start at the beginning of my story instead of the end. I had braces, HAD. I got those horrible metal torture devices off yesterday. After 2 years of dare I say, absolute purgatory, I am free. Why am I still in pain, you may ask? Well...

I was jolted out of sleep by the blaring of a radio somewhere inside the middle of my ear. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I realized the alarm clock wasn't actually inside my head. Relieved, I turned if off and glared at the faintly luminous numbers. I am most definitely NOT a morning person, and 6 am is pure suicide. I got out of bed feeling fairly out of it and definitely not all there. The orthodontist was a sadist, I decided. He delighted in torturing me by making me get up for a 7:20 am appointment. I didn't even know they were OPEN at 7:20.

Somehow, and seriously I have NO recollection, I got ready and because my parents are heartless and enjoy my suffering just as much as my orthodontist, I walked the 20 minutes to my appointment. When I am fully awake, walking is child's play. Asleep, it is slightly more difficult. I'm surprised I was not hit by a car or mugged by...well, someone.

Miraculously, I made it and got safely seated by the...whatever those people are called who do everything to your teeth. Orthodontic Assistant? I quickly decided that this particular OA was a flake, if not a complete ditz. I'm not being cruel or exaggerating. As I held my mouth wide open for her better access to my pearly whites, she poured a steady stream of questions into my ear. Here is a sample of our conversation:

OA: (in a falsely bright voice) "So, I bet your REALLY glad to be getting you braces off right?" (giggles)

Me: "Uh-uh" (spit spews everywhere)

OA: Well, and how is school going for you?"

Me: "Eh eh ooh" (I try manfully to make myself understood as she shoves her fist into the side of my cheek)

OA: "Well, that's good. Do you have plans for the summer?" (grinning cheerfully)

Me: (tears welling in my eyes as she tugs a little TOO hard) "AHHH...uh-huh"

And it goes on...and on...and on. Having exhausted the stream of available questions that she can direct towards me, and having removed the last bracket, she pulls out what looks like a miniature electric sand-paper thingy and proceeds to polish my teeth with it, inflicting a great deal of discomfort, if not pain, on me, AND complaining about the motor for the sanding thingy at least 5 times.

She finishes polishing my teeth, removing the last bit of glue. I go to rinse my mouth out. I look in the mirror and gaze at myself in some shock. My cheeks are covered with blood, and my gums are bleeding profusely. I kid you not. It was disgusting. Apparently, your gums are all swollen and sensitive from the braces so when, as the OA so wittily put it, you even look at them, they bleed. Well, my gums were bleeding and sore.

I hastily scrubbed the dried blood from my cheeks and swished my mouth with water. And then I smiled because my teeth were beautiful (they still are), if I do say so myself. After admiring myself in the mirror for a while, I hurried back. I then got my picture taken several times, and an x-ray. All the while the cheerful OA spewed out a steady stream of comments and instructions. I wanted to do something drastic.

Finally, the orthodontist saw me, gave me the OK and I escaped with my positioner, which is the last word in torture and the reason for my discomfort and pain. It is a big hunk of plastic that fits on to my teeth, holding them in place and moving them slightly. Tweaking, as my OA, ever cheerful, called it. I have to wear it after dinner and to bed, which would explain my bad mood. I woke up last night because of the aforementioned feeling of having my teeth yanked out. Here is a picture, just for you:

I am in pain.

Teusday Challenge

Teudsay Challenge, or rather Tuesday Challene, or rather tuesday challenge (finally)

My friend Gwen made it up. Its where you can't backsapce for you r whole post...i know. its rather neve racking and i'm typing a lot slower than normal becasue i don't want to look like a complete idiot. Its not realy working.\dang!

Anyways, today my moteh (mother) my soster (sister) and my other sister and my other sister adn my baby broher( brotehr, or ratehr brother) and I, all went t o canmore (its in the moutains for all of you who don't live in alberta) to get my little baby brother a Thudguard. What is a thudguard you might well ask? well, a thuydguard is a tiny helmest you put on a baby who insists on baning his head continously on the floo (i meant to say banging and floor). We were afraid he might sutain some brain damage because of the continuous banging, thus the thudguard.

That is a thudguard and although my sister maria insists it make s john look like a moron, i would have to disagree, becasue I think he looks absolutely adorable.

After we got the thudguard we went to a coffe shop, and i drank chocolate mik (milk) and had !/3 or 1/3 of a cinnamon bun. It was very yummy and satisfying and though it was raining cats and dogs i had a great deal of fun and engjoyed myself immensely. Canmore is beautiful and the mountains are big and majestic and they make you think about how silly those people are who think God doesn't exisst. Looking at those mountains all i could think about was how stupid people who've seen the moutnains are, who say God doesn't exist are. I'm not making myself very clear i know but its difficult when you can't baksapce and get rid of your excess words. oh well...

Today is also my b mothers b-day. I've got to scitter cause wer are haveing CAKE!!!! yum...

The Joy of Reading (Good Books)

My sister laughs at me when I say this but...my favorite feeling is after I've read a good book. After reading those last magic words, I sigh, giggle joyfully and contemplate the beauty of such a wonderful and lovely book. I usually go back and read my favorite parts, those parts where you felt a little tingle travel up and down your spine, making your heart beat faster and your imagination to light up with the words on the page.

I am not really doing adequate justice to such a feeling or such books, because for those who know, it is a wonderful and lovely feeling. You've been somewhere else for hours, somewhere enchanting and different. When you wake up from the story, you are still drunk on those magic words. It's enough to make you go into a hermetic lifestyle just to read.

Those of you who have never felt this, those who feel that I am coming it a little strong, you have absolutely no idea what you are missing. There are worlds and people and emotions that you can experience just by cracking open a book. Books take you places and introduce you to people. And as long as there is a satisfying ending, well-chosen words, and a gripping story, I love to read.

Ouch...

Right now I'm in the process of figuring out the basis of my short story...it's difficult but I think I'm onto a good thing.

In other news, it rained today! I love the rain :D.

Sigh...I am really, really sorry. I am so tired I can hardly form a coherent though. Nothing interesting comes to mind and I have absolutely no anecdotes or wise words to impart. My brain hurts, my elbows hurt, my fingers hurt. I am one big ball of pathetic hurtingness and my yawns are splitting my head in half. Oh woe is me...

Tomorrow will be a better day. I shall write part 1 of my story, and please deal with me honestly. Criticism is not wanted, but it is needed. I shall nurse my bruised ego in private, make the changes, and bite the bullet (I've always wanted to say that and I've never had a chance!)

Anyways, I'm going to have soak in a hot bath to bruise my aching feet and brain. Don't judge me, I think I'm coming down with a cold...

I Need Feeback!

So...

I'm kinda stuck for ideas of what to tell you about today. No little bits of wisdom, funny stories(embarrasing more like), or crazy ideas come to mind.

However, the lovely Maria, my sister, suggested I write short stories on my blog, for practice. Tell me what you think. Unless the idea is absolutely repulsive to you, I think I might try my hand at some light fiction.

Oh and a few ideas wouldn't be remiss either. I'm kinda stuck on ideas right now. Writers block...sigh.